“Turp”-ed out

“Turp” = shame, and, goodness, have I been noticing it more lately. Albania has so many wonderful characteristics that I am continuously grateful to be here. However, there are certain things that frustrate me, and what I consider to be an abundance of “turp” is one major thing.

Things that I have noticed that are “turp”:
(Please note that this is not universal, and some places/families are more progressive than others.)
-Sex education in school or in home
-Women traveling by themselves
-Women out past a certain hour alone
-Women ending an engagement when they know it is a wrong match
-Women getting divorced
(These last two are connected. You cannot get un-engaged to someone, yet you cannot divorce someone. Some women are betrothed at 15…what do they do then?)
-Women having more education than their husbands
-Women past the age of 30 not being married (supposedly no nice girl is still single after 30)

While I try to respect cultural differences, there are things that I still see as wrong. And that is what makes living in another country (and especially trying to effect change in one) is difficult. What things can be pushed and what just shouldn’t? Where does my value system stop and acceptance of another begins? Some of these things affect me personally, as girls and women I care about have to navigate within the “turp”-filled system. I am more grateful for the life I have been given the freedom to lead, and admittedly more frustrated with women here and in the US who take that for granted.

And of course my motto of “don’t complain; make it better” kicks in. Starting in March, we are working to start a girls’ group here in Fier. The plan is to discuss issues with high school girls, from relationships to body image. My plan is to work with Albanian teachers so the Albanian context is integrated into lessons, but I want to be able to move beyond that and share experiences of women throughout the world.